2010 Darwin Awards

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2010 Darwin Awards

Post  hqlinux on Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:27 pm

Enjoy...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2010 DARWIN AWARDS

You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado here are the 2010 Darwin awards.

8th Place
In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

7th Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

6th Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

5th Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was robbing. Death was caused when the long torch he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

4th Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

3rd Place
After walking around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds
from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 a.m. So they lit a stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was closed

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then
tied the other (!) to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.... 'S**t happens'

IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey

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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  old tech on Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:16 pm

54 Years of Age.



Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :
My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a
good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you
will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with
my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the
dining room table:


My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that
you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our
local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will
be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also
the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary,
is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math,
you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one
small difference, 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Oponium1 on Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:53 pm

@Harvey, that <EXPLETIVES DELETED> up.

im all for jokes, but being happy that someone died is just sick.


Last edited by hqlinux on Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:44 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Foul Language is UNACCEPTABLE)

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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  hqlinux on Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:47 pm

Oponium1 wrote:@Harvey, that <EXPLETIVES DELETED> up.

im all for jokes, but being happy that someone died is just sick.

Who said it was funny??? The stories are true... it's not my fault that some people have no brains or common sense...

Also,... I deleted your filthy language... Don't use that kind of verbiage here... totally UNACCEPTABLE...

Harvey

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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  old tech on Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:01 pm

Thank you, Harvey
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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Oponium1 on Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:22 pm

soo..

I can't cuss but you can post stuff about people getting their feet torn completely off and people shooting themselves and other gruesome/gross/offensive things?

riight.. that about does it for me. im out.

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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  old tech on Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:22 am

Sounds like a troll to me.
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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  hqlinux on Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:24 am

Oponium1 wrote:soo..

I can't cuss but you can post stuff about people getting their feet torn completely off and people shooting themselves and other gruesome/gross/offensive things?

riight.. that about does it for me. im out.

That's right... you CAN'T use foul language here... and if you don't like the content of a post (any post) don't read it.

As for gruesome...gross...offensive... I guess that's your opinion, but that doesn't reflect my opinion... as I said, if you don't like it, don't read it. Nobody is forcing you to read ANY post...

Harvey

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Re: 2010 Darwin Awards

Post  Admin on Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:45 am

Oponium1 wrote:soo..

I can't cuss but you can post stuff about people getting their feet torn completely off and people shooting themselves and other gruesome/gross/offensive things?

riight.. that about does it for me. im out.

There is no cussing allowed, and its kind of actually common sense. Would you cuss in an Ubuntu or Linux Mint forum? Same kind of rules and common sense apply.

As for Harvey's post I do not see anything wrong with it he was merely stating facts showing some poorly made decisions, with tragic outcomes! You do not have to read it, you can go to the other areas of the forums or you can just skim over it.
Lets just all try to get along.

Thanks

Ray

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